Before I became a Christian I had alot of questions about God's existence. This world couldn't possible have a God, there are too much suffering and bad things in this world. There are too many unanswered questions about this God thing.
I was born in Sweden and went to church around once a month with my parents, because the church we went to were in another city. I was going to sunday school, playing with my friends in church. All the stories about Jesus was just stories for me.
When I was fifteen me and my family moved to Norway, because my Dad opened a restaurant there. I started to go to church every week cause the church were much closer. I met new friends, in fact my first friends was from the church. So I attended church on sundays only because I wanted to meet my friends. Back then I felt kinda lonely since I had to find new friends all over again.
Later on we started to attend the youth meetings. I attended as well even though I weren't a christian. Almost all the other in that group were Christians except me. So during the time when we discussed, I always had questions to ask. I loved to provoke the others with questions they couldn't answer. I was trying to make them understand that they can't just go around and believe anything without knowing what they actually were believing in. Even though I got an answer, I never accepted it. My goal wasn't to get any answer, it was to provoke and win the discussion.
My friends in church also attended summercamp. A Christian camp that was held for Chinese Christians in Scandinavia. I had been there once before, but never really liked it. Many of my friends in church attended and finally one year I went to the summercamp with them. For me it was like vacation with my friends.
During that first time I had a lot of fun. But it was one incident I remember very well. I was sitting with my group leader and the pastor around a table. I think it was after a group discussion time. I don't know why I actually sat there, why I choosed to sit and listen. But I heard my group leader ask questions to the pastor of our camp. He was asking the exact same questions as I did. I thought it was really weird, I was kinda confused back then, I can't even remember what that pastor said and answered. I was thinking that, how could my group leader, a christian leader have these kind of questions? How can he be unsure about these things but still believe in God? He seemed like a smart person, but still he was believing in something he wasn't sure of?
After that day I started to change I guess. I was thinking that if he can become a christian and still search for these qusetions, why can't I do the same? I slowly started to accept more and more of the things I was hearing during sermons and youth meetings. But I intended to search for the answers about God. Still to this day I'm searching for answers.
Later on I became a Christian, found out more about God, found the answers I was searching for. Something really important I learned that I want to share with you is, we all have questions about God and our own life. But I know that as long as we searh for the answer God will provide it. During group discussions I provoked, I never intended to search for the answers. This goes for many things in life, what is your goal with what you do? I guess I'm a pretty stubborn person, I had a question that really bothered me during a long time. I really searched for answers, but never really got one that I was satisfied with. I took me around 2-3 years and a trip to Canada to find out. Last time I was on a mission trip in Canada I talked with a pastor. And finally I found a person that could tell me what I was wondering about. I guess during these years God was preparing me and I gained alot of patience during this. I don't think I would have understood it if I got the answer right away. Or even accepted it. But God is really great! He knows when we are ready, we need the patience to wait. Cause God knows everyhting!
So that's my testimoney, I never became a christian like BOOM and God was in my life. It took some time for me to understand and learn. I will encourage all of you to ask questions! Search about God's truth!
